Fresh Beginnings

Fresh starts or clean beginnings are all around us; we have the opportunity for them to occur far more often then we might believe. You will have to decide when and how you’ll create that fresh start. What I am implying, is that starting with a clean slate can be extremely empowering if you make it so. Of course it doesn’t replace or erase any thing that you had done previously. The clean slate that I refer to is not the image of yourself, but the perception that others have of you.

As an example of this clean slate, let’s think about starting a new job as I am now. A clean slate means that they have no major impressions of me. This can be a double edged sword where you don’t know anyone, no knowledge of their process and rules, or the expectations are unknown, but you have the ability to express the you that you choose to be. Speaking for myself, I have been working diligently everyday towards making myself better physically, mentally, and emotionally, so I am going to exude confidence, intelligence, and maturity. These are things that I am actively working on and I do believe I have grown in those areas over the last month. I could allow my depression and anxiety to focus on the negatives of that ferocious sword, but I am striving daily to prioritize self growth. The more I think about the positive side of that sword, the more I forget about the negative.

Another example  of a clean slate is moving. I am also in the middle of this, moving from a big house with a yard to a single bedroom apartment in the middle of downtown Atlanta. It’s so easy to allow myself to be consumed by all my fears of not knowing anyone, not knowing what’s around, or social anxiety of trying to meet people. This one is far more challenging in my mind than for changing jobs alone. Yet I believe that this may hold the greatest chance for the happiness that I seek. I am throwing myself into the heart of the city in an extremely social area; bars and restaurants are everywhere and most are dog friendly. I am walking into one of the biggest unknowns of my life, which would typically terrorize my anxiety and desire for control, but I am tolerating it? Truth is that it’s really not bothering me; I don’t know if that’s a sign of growth or maybe it’s because I’m solely determined on achieving self growth.

Either situation presented above would typically be eating me away at me, but I am choosing to look (hope) for the positives. I know that just as terrifying as all of this may be, I have an equally incredible opportunity to throw myself into a new and exciting environment. What kind of people will I meet? What will be my favorite restaurants? My family knows that I have never been able to look at the positives of life, yet for some unknown reason I am now. I wonder how much of this is attributed to the steps I’ve been taking to make a better me… maybe some of it is due to this blog where I am publicly decreeing my feelings and emotions. I truly am not sure what has inspired this total change. If you have any ideas please comment and let me know what you think?

To circle back around, I am trying to say that if things are really tough for you or you are feeling stuck, think about creating a fresh start for yourself; it could be as simple as going to a different bar or restaurant. It is terrifying to stare into the darkness of the unknown, but all you have to do is put one foot in front of the other. Keep trudging along. Never quit lest you be consumed. Growth and inner power await you on the other side. Accept the demons that lay awake inside of you and as you grow to acknowledge and challenge them, they will attack less and less. They begin by clawing, ripping at your insides and in the back of your brain 24/7. Now they are comparable to intuition or gut reactions. The challenge is to identify them as my anxiety and to push through it; if you get through those first couple of steps then it will calmly recede back into the depths of your soul.