There are no Second Chances

Time to crush a lie we were all told as children. “Everyone deserves a second chance”. Perhaps it’s not the fact the statement itself is a lie; it is the world we live in that doesn’t allow second chances. Of course you get a second chance to brush your teeth, but so many things in this world aren’t allowed a second chance.

For instance, let’s talk about a car accident. It may have been a small mistake like not checking your blind spot before changing lanes. Had there been an accident, I am sure that’s something that if the driver had a second chance, they would never forget to check their blind spot again. This story could be told hundreds of different ways about parents taking their eyes off of their kid somewhere or Thanksgiving turkeys destroying the house. The point is that some things are too fast or vicious to get a second chance. Murder and general illegal activity resulting in extended jail time would be considered vicious. Something else that is vicious is words.

Fights among people in relationships can be extremely vicious. Sometimes you can’t control what you’re saying or you don’t even think about how the other person might feel about what you said. These are some of the worst mistakes in my opinion; they are particularly vicious. They eat away at your soul bit by bit until you can’t recognize yourself anymore. Words can not be taken back. Once spoken aloud, they creep into your thoughts at the times least desirable. I am haunted over my recent breakup in this way. I can see now the error of my ways, but no amount of apologizing can’t take back my inability to understand what they needed from me. Mistakes like this haunt us all the time because you know that you are responsible for it, that your significant other is out there, and that you can’t have them back.

How do we come back from these chilling, mind numbing mistakes? Is there anyway that we can apologize and reset the clock? I really fucking wish there was lol. We are forced to live with the ever constant reminder that we destroyed a relationship that we held dear. To remember to never make those mistakes again, but never with the one you hurt/loved. It is so cruel to try to earn forgiveness from yourself. How do you justify adding to the mistakes, or for not fixing them sooner? At that point you’re left with a nagging voice in the back of your head that says “you don’t deserve anything” or “you’re a piece of shit”. Some mistakes don’t get a second chance, they follow you around for the rest of your life, grabbing at you and stealing away your energy … at least until you can forgive yourself.